My Grandfather’s WWII Letters Still Ring True Today

These are truly tumultuous times.  Many are making comparisons to other times in history, in particular to the Second World War. I’ve been immersed in the ripple effect of that war all my life. My grandparents (and my mother, in utero) came to the U.S. as Jewish refugees from Nazi-occupied Poland in late 1940 and watched in desperation as the world they knew and loved (and fought to improve as members of the Jewish Labor Bund) was annihilated.  

Between 1942 and 1946, my grandfather, Emanuel Patt (known as Monye), then in his early thirties, wrote a series of letters in Yiddish to his toddler daughter, Rifkeleh (Rebecca—my mother). In them, he shared his thoughts about the harrowing nature of the world they lived in and the brighter world he had dreamed of and worked for all his life.

The letters offer a portrait of both immeasurable loss and tenacious hopefulness—a determination not to give up faith in humanity and our power to turn things around. And they’re unique in having been written while those wartime events were happening, not in retrospect.

My grandfather saved all the letters, typed them up and gave them to Rifkeleh in 1958, on the occasion of her high school graduation, prefaced by a new letter offering them as a key to her foundation, roots and family as she made the transition to adulthood. She, in turn, saved and translated them to English and gave them to me when I graduated high school in 1987. They’ve informed how I understand the world ever since.

I’ve decided to begin publishing and sharing the “Letters to Rifkeleh” in my blog. Here, I’m including the full text of this 1943 letter to show not only my grandfather’s philosophical thoughts and lyrical writing but his full humanness as a young, immigrant father and family man.

November 23, 1943

My dearest nakhesdik [pleasant] little daughter:

Today you become 2 ½ years old. A big girl already. Mama went out for a while and left you in the apartment. So, you’re lying in your room, in your bed, and you’re sleeping. Have a good, sweet sleep!

Rifkeleh! When you grow up and will be able to read what your father is now writing, there will be a new, very different world than what we have now. Who knows if you’ll be able to understand your Papa’s thoughts on a November night in 1943?

Where is the world going? There is no one who has an answer.

But the world is not moving in the direction that your Papa and Mama wanted.

Your mother and father sold their souls to a dream. A dream of a beautiful world. The joys of wealth didn’t appeal to them and leave them cold. They themselves can manage with the minimum. But they have with passion and devotion dedicated their belief in justice and freedom and equality. Many names have been given to their beliefs. It seems to your father there here are the two critical things: that which is immortal in the history of humanity – the striving to self-betterment and advancement, that which is labeled humanism; and freedom, the soil without which humanity can’t exist, the air with which humanism breathes.

But these days there is no great need for these. The world has become a shelf of wares with which one trades. Peoples, countries are leftover scraps of fabric or cans of herring which with the big wholesalers trade in their business. And the individual person – the greatest and most important – is only a thread n the scrap of fabric or one of the pressed sardines

If only strength and physical power dominated – then it would even be tolerable. When the strength of a young hero manifests itself, it doesn’t necessarily have to be hooliganism. There is, after all, beauty in the powerful lifting and lowering of a hammer by a young, singing blacksmith! And this is also how it is in world politics. When a young nation begins to put a halt to destruction, begins building rainbow-bridges from the simple earth to the lofty sky – this is beautiful!

But today it is the power of cunning. It is the invincibility of cynicism.

If your father wasn’t such an incurable optimist, he would surely be coming to some very sad conclusions: we are the last of the Mohicans, Don Quixotes in a world that doesn’t understand what truth and purity mean.

But I want to believe that this is not true: that the elements of victory will wipe out all of today’s vile and common cow-trading. That the nations will delete all the accounts of this present time.

But I’m not certain about this. It could be – yes; and it could be – no.

But about one thing I am sure:

Just as the seasons of the year change, as Spring inevitably follows Winter, as surely will the dawn of humanism arrive, a time when ideas and ideals will rule the world; when words such as “truth” and “equality” will carry more weight than the grocer’s reckonings, when we will breathe freedom and not even be able to be satiated with enough brotherhood.

I promise you, my little girl, that when that time comes, and you and the youth of your generation will tear away the cobweb-covered windows and begin breathing the free air of humanity – then you will find your father and your mother, the incurable dreamers, by your side.

And it is our most fervent desire, our aim in life – to make you ready for that day.

If you will grow up and make these ideals part of your way of life – then this will be your mother and father’s greatest joy. If we will be unable to protect you and your soul becomes poisoned with the cynicism and nihilism of the times – then we will have failed in our task.

You are lying, little Rifkeleh, in your small bed. The golden curls fall down over your forehead. You sleep peacefully and your dream is of a little flower, a kitten, the little piglet that cries because its mother went away. You don’t know anything about your father’s thoughts and the grand philosophies he spins about you.

So sleep sweetly, our comfort and hope!

Your Papa

 

WHY I VOTE…IT ALL STARTED IN 1940

For me, Election Day is the story of a refugee family walking to a brand-new life over ashes.

My grandparents, Brucha and Emanuel (Monye) Patt, fled their home city of Warsaw in early September 1939, four days after the Nazi invasion of Poland and just weeks before their city was occupied. They were 24 and 27 years old, respectively, and had married the year before. In 1992 I managed to get my grandmother to tell me a little about their escape. “We walked out from Warsaw,” she said. “We were told that any day the Germans will come. We were mountain climbers, so we put on our mountain climbing shoes. And we walked for a long, long time…until we came to Vilna. It’s like a dream, we kept on walking and walking and walking.”

The distance between Warsaw and Vilna—then still a part of Eastern Poland—is some 270 miles. Google Maps tells me it can be walked in about 90 hours. My grandparents carried nothing with them but two rucksacks, and I have no idea how they procured food, where they slept, or what they did in Vilna, where they ended up staying for many months.

This was the first leg of an exit journey from Europe that took the better part of a year and included my grandfather’s immediate family: his sister Emma and their mother Rifke, along with Emma’s fiancé, Motl, and his parents and brother. Following Monye and Brucha, and in between various bombardments and relocations, the others left in separate groupings from Warsaw, Bialystok and Lodz between September and December 1939, all managing to arrive  and meet in Vilna (Vilnius). By this time, Vilna was occupied by Soviet forces and had been transferred by the Soviet Union to still-independent Lithuania.

All of my escaping family members belonged tothe Jewish Labor Bund, the secular Jewish socialist party in Poland and Russia. For my grandparents’ generation, the Bund was more than a political party; it was a way of life. Besides fighting for democratic socialism and fair treatment for all working people, the Bund campaigned against anti-Semitism, defended Jewish civil rights, and worked to preserve Jewish culture and the Yiddish language. My grandfather Monye and Motl’s father Efroim were well known Bundist leaders.

When the Soviet Union annexed Lithuania in the summer of 1940, that country became a dangerous place for members of the Bund, which did not support Stalinism. Fearful of being arrested, at some point Monye assumed a fake identity and went into hiding in nearby Kovno (Kaunas), where he was less well known. (He later returned to Vilna.) At the same time, the German army was continuing to advance eastward (occupying Lithuania in the spring of 1941).

The entire family scrambled to get exit visas that would allow them to leave Lithuania and Europe entirely. Eventually they received so-called “Curacao visas” from the Dutch consul in Lithuania, Jan Zwartendijk—essentially, a stamp on their papers stating that Curacao did not require entrance visas for foreigners. Over 2,000 Jewish refugees received these, although none ever made it to Curacao; the “Curacao visas” were a strategy to get approval from Soviet authorities to leave the country. But anyone wanting to leave also needed a transit visa to someplace outside the Soviet Union. Here, the Japanese consul, Chiune Sugihara, stepped in and issued more than 2,000 ten-day visas to Japan for the refugees, even though most had no valid destination visas.

My grandparents and the rest of their group all obtained Sugihara visas. But before they could leave Lithuania, Rifke Pat, my great-grandmother, suffered a heart attack and died. She’s buried in Vilna; I have her unused Sugihara visa—apparently a very rare document.

In early September 1940, the group made their way to Moscow, then took the Trans-Siberian Railway to Vladivostok, a distance of some 4,000 miles. Today, this trip takes seven days; in 1940 probably twice as long. From Vladivostok, they took a Japanese steamer ship to Kobe, Japan. They were among the minority of Jewish refugees in Japan able to leave quickly for the United States; indeed, only a tiny handful of all European Jewish refugees were permitted entry to the U.S. during this period.

It was only through their connections with the Jewish labor movement that this was possible. My great-grandfather, Jacob Pat, was a journalist, writer and activist in the Bund before the war. In 1938 he had traveled to the U.S. on a fund-raising trip and was compelled to remain there due to the war. He threw himself into rescue efforts, working with the U.S. Jewish Labor Committee to obtain US entry visas and the necessary funds for some 170 Jewish refugees—all involved with the labor movement— to sail from Japan to the United States between 1940 and 1941.

My family group boarded the Heian Maru, a Japanese passenger-cargo ocean liner, in October 1940. My grandmother would recall how fancy the ship was, and how exotic and unfamiliar the food (reportedly American style). She kept the menu as a memento of this part of the journey, when they were pretty much assured to make it to safety.

At the end of October, they landed in Seattle, where they boarded the Transcontinental Railroad for the east coast, another 3,000 miles. Finally, they arrived in New York City, on Tuesday, November 5, 1940—Election Day.

For the rest of her life, my grandmother treasured this memory, and spoke of it often. To her, arriving in New York on Election Day meant arriving to freedom, to a land where people’s voices mattered. This was the Roosevelt era, on the heels of the New Deal, and she was impressed by all the social programs and benefits for ordinary citizens that had their start under FDR. Indeed, 1940 was a presidential election year, in which the incumbent Democratic President Franklin D. Roosevelt roundly defeated Republican corporate business executive Wendell Willkie to win a first-ever third term in office. It was an exciting time for a refugee from fascism to arrive here. (Despite, of course, the persistent closed-door immigration policy and still isolationist stance on the war.)

Brucha and Monye went to the apartment in Sunnyside, Queens where Monye’s father lived, dropped off their rucksacks, and went straight back out to Manhattan to observe the crowds in the city center, many of whom were headed for the polls. She felt the mood electric. They went to a diner in midtown, where she drank tea, opening and emptying the teabag (something she’d never seen before) into her cup.  “In America, to serve tea like this!” she thought, baffled. She described her first afternoon in New York to me as being full of wonder, symbolically enhanced by the fact that it was Election Day, a holiday of democracy.

Brucha was exceedingly proud to be an American and described herself as a “sickening patriot.” This did not mean she agreed with everything the U.S. did or that she never questioned the government, or other citizens. She was outraged at the racism and other gross injustices of her adopted country. But she understood that creating and maintaining democracy involved active and thoughtful participation on the part of ordinary individuals, and that began with voting. She considered voting a sacred obligation and responsibility of every citizen and was frankly appalled at the idea that anyone would choose not to do so.

My grandmother died in 2002, and I certainly don’t know what she would say about this year’s election, or about the long chain of oppressive and regressive events of the past several years. I imagine she’d be horrified, terrified, and furious to see her beloved United States flailing in disunity, conflict, irrationality and inhumanity. But of one thing I am certain: she would be voting, and calling everyone she knew to make sure they voted too.

Everyone in my family is a passionate voter. That’s the ripple effect. Despite the obvious problems and biases of the electoral college, the limitations of a two-party system, the absurdity of campaign financing, and all the rest, I still vote. I still feel a little bit excited when I go to the polls, remembering the promise that this day held for a young refugee couple pregnant with the promise of democracy (and, in fact, with my mother by the time they arrived in the U.S.—but that’s for another post).

Why I’m Going to Auschwitz Again

A year ago, before my first trip to Poland (to attend an international workshop on healing from war that included visits to the death camps Auschwitz and Birkenau), I’d never have imagined going back. It was on my bucket list, something I felt I needed to do, but surely only once.  As the granddaughter of Jewish refugees from Nazi-occupied Warsaw, I felt terrified to even set foot in Poland, much less in the death camps. My singular focus was on surviving the trip; I didn’t consider that I might actually want to return.

And yet, here we are.  The plane ticket is booked and I leave in a few days, back to Poland to continue building my relationship with that place.  It’s not a vacation, but I am looking forward to being there.

Why? I’m not just returning to bear witness to the horrors of history, or to further ponder what may have happened to my forever-lost family and community members.  One trip may have been enough for that.

I’m going back because I believe in the possibility of healing from war.  Many years into working on my own war-related hurts, I feel hopeful enough to continue the process, despite how hard it remains.

Like many of us, I’m grasping for hope these days. I don’t need to summarize the catalog of domestic and international challenges and disasters that our world is facing.  As a human being, I feel scared. As a Jew, perhaps even more so.  Ongoing public and often violent declarations that it’s okay to be racist, anti-Semitic, anti-Muslim, misogynist, anti-immigrant, anti-LGBTQ, anti-working class, anti-science, and in denial about climate change (and so many more rigid and irrational ideas) often leave me feeling overwhelmed, immobilized and ineffectual to change any of it.

So, it’s good for me to remember a recent time when I did something powerful, despite my gut-crushing fear.  Here’s just a taste of what happened when I went to Poland and Auschwitz/Birkenau last year:

When my plane landed in Warsaw, I felt inexplicably like I’d come home.  I’d been conditioned to fear everything Polish, but I connected viscerally to the zest my grandparents must have had for their pre-war lives there, and I also loved it. The experience of being there fleshed out what had been a rather flat picture in my mind.

I toured the former Warsaw Ghetto with a Polish genealogist who shared stories of how her own gentile grandmother risked her life to smuggle food to her Jewish friends inside.

I toured the huge Jewish Cemetery with a Polish scholar who’s devoted her career to understanding the Jewish socialist movement – the Bund – that my family was active in.  She showed me things in the cemetery I never would have known about.

I stood on Nowolipie Street where my grandmother’s family lived. Not one building remains from before the war, but I pocketed a tiny chunk of what I like to think may be rubble from that time. I felt a sense of peace in the quiet residential neighborhood that’s there today.

I met Polish Jews who grew up in the post-war years and under Communism, and Polish Gentiles who’d learned as adults that they have Jewish heritage.

I attended one of Warsaw’s well known outdoor Chopin concerts in Lazienki Park and deepened my appreciation for the love my grandparents and their comrades had for music and the arts.

At the Healing from War workshop, I met people from around the world who are committed to healing from war and ultimately ending it. We pulled out the stops to listen to each other’s stories, and to tell our own – no matter how gruesome or difficult.  We cried, shook with fear, raged, laughed, shared meals together.

I heard firsthand accounts of the effects of war on people from Africa, Japan,  Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Israel and elsewhere.  I held hands and listened to people who have fought in wars, been displaced from their homes, lived in colonized places, lost their native languages.

I told significant parts of my family’s Holocaust story to a group that included a German grandchild of a Nazi, and I heard significant parts of her story.

I observed many people whose native language is other than English working hard to communicate in my language, and was inspired to dispense with my shyness  (and privilege) to speak in every language I know even a little bit, no matter how many mistakes I made.

I gave a presentation entirely in Yiddish to a group of 75 non-Yiddish speakers. I did interpreting for groups from Spanish into English, and from English into Spanish. I learned a few words of Polish, Japanese, Greek, Euskera (Basque). I resurrected my extremely rudimentary French to have conversations with my Polish roommate, who spoke French fluently.

My Polish roommate and I became dear friends and trusted allies.  I showed her the few photos I have of my grandparents before they left Warsaw, and she was able to identify some of the locations. I learned how devastated the Poles had been by the Nazi occupation, and how terrorized.  I had never considered I could have a Polish Gentile friend, but I experienced the possibility of human connection to bridge the vastness of difference and suffering.

And finally, yes, I went to the death camps. Auschwitz, with it’s orderly brick buildings and neat sidewalks, and Birkenau, with its barren blocks of wooden bunkers – the concentration camp I’d always imagined.  I walked through the famous “Arbeit Macht Frei” gate to be surrounded by barbed wire fences. I saw jumbles of shoes, piles of pots and pans, a mountain of shorn women’s hair.  I stepped inside a gas chamber.  I stood just a few feet from the ovens.  I walked by the pond where the Nazis used to dump the ashes. I wept. I was furious. I felt numb.

Yes, yes, yes, I did all those things. And yes, I’m going to do them again.

Why?

Because I’m not finished healing from war yet. And because I’m grateful that I have the resources and relationships to try to.

Because in doing “healing from war” work I’ve finally connected with my grandparents’ legacy of activism in a way that makes sense to me, and I’m starting to figure out ways to bring that home and spread it around.

Because although I’m still afraid, I’m also more certain I’ll survive.

Because the camps are a terrible reminder of the worst inhumanity imaginable, but their emptiness today encourages me that I don’t have to live inside them in my imagination anymore.

Because the deer that bound freely through the fields between the birch trees at Birkenau are beautiful and benign.

Because I’m buoyed by the thousands and thousands of visitors from all backgrounds who dare to look and truly listen to this story (despite some who are so shut down emotionally that they take Instagram pictures of themselves clowning around at the camps.)

Because I’m moved by hearing people who have lived through recent wars in their countries but never learned much about the Nazi Holocaust, and perhaps never met a Jew before, immediately understand and relate, and say that we are one.

Because I have Polish friends and colleagues now, and I can tell we care deeply about one another.

Because I’m learning Polish so I can speak with my new Polish friends in their language – and I will know both languages spoken by my family there.

Because after returning home last year I got an incredible job working with veterans and I have better attention to listen to their stories because I’ve been here.

Because healing from war in Poland is helping me to finally see that I can thrive.

Dreaming About War

I’ve been having Holocaust dreams lately.  Not actual scenes of concentration camps or ghettos, but disturbing scenarios with enough related resonances  to let me know I’m in the territory–cozying up with the inherited terror of my family’s refugee/survivor history.

In one dream, my husband comes upstairs from the laundry room carrying a huge sack of clothes slung over his shoulder. Someone has stolen our brand new laundry cart, which I’d left downstairs.  I rant about the cost of a new cart and fret about not being able to trust our neighbors anymore.  In real life, the next morning, my husband reported that I’d cried out in my sleep, “What are we going to do?!!”

In another dream, I’m overseas at a huge conference center.  My flight home is in a couple of hours but I haven’t packed yet and can’t remember where my room is. I begin a race against the clock to find my room, get my stuff, and make it to the airport.  Nobody will help me, so I run around anxiously, in and out of buildings and through wooded paths.  Finally, I see some members of my group descending a giant staircase with their suitcases. “Wait for me!!” I cry, desperate not to be left behind, alone. Continue reading “Dreaming About War”

Let the healing begin!

As the granddaughter of Jewish Holocaust survivors, Poland was a place I was taught never to forget, but also never to set  foot in.

In the 1980s and ’90s, when Jews around the world started visiting Poland and Eastern Europe to “find their roots,” my grandmother Brucha thought they were crazy.  She’d been a refugee from Nazi-occupied Warsaw, escaping in the months before the Ghetto was locked down. To her, returning for any reason was unthinkable. “To go back to Poland, you’d have to take me in chains,” she’d declare, absolutely adamant.

Naturally, years later, when I decided to attend an international workshop on Healing From War in Poland, I felt terrified.  I shook with fear every time I considered voluntarily getting on a plane to the land my family had fled for their lives– the cauldron where the vibrant Jewish culture of my ancestors was extinguished in the most violent and terrible way. Irrationally, I imagined I might arrive and be immediately imprisoned, or executed.  But I was determined to go, to shake up this mindset that imprisoned me all on its own. Continue reading “Let the healing begin!”